Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Weighing In

I weigh in tonight....but I just finished posting this week's photo update on my facebook account for the world to see. It was really painful.It is one thing to tell people you have a huge amount of weight to lose- it is another to show people what you have done to yourself over the years.
But I have to say that the support that I have received from people is amazing....and very heartwarming. Some have contacted me to talk about the weight loss journey that they too are undertaking, some just to offer encouragement. All is so appreciated.
I went in to the local Y today and rejoined. I need to be able to get in there at least 2-3 times per week to swim. I love being in the pool. In this blistering heat I cannot bring myself to even walk outside except to take care of horses and do my job. It is just too exhausting.
Still have the dresses hanging in my bedroom to look at daily. I cannot wait until I can fit into them and (more importantly) feel good about wearing them. I know that my journey is a long one....after all, it took me about 12 years to get here......
and that it will always be ongoing, but I welcome each day that I can learn and grow.
One of the discouraging thing about being at this high of a weight is that even when you lose a tremendous amount of weight, you still have a tremendous amount to lose. That is probably the hardest past for me. I remember about 11-12 years ago when I realized that I was up to 220 and I was ashamed and appalled that I had allowed that to happen. I wanted to hide in the house. Now even after I lose my first 50 pounds I will still be heavier than that.....which is very sad.

But I can live with it. I did this to myself and I will fix what I did.

I have too many dogs to run and horses to ride to do otherwise......

Thank you so much for following me and making me feel supported.

Laura....who will know her (hopefully)new weight in a few hours

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