Monday, July 19, 2010

a new day

So tomorrow is my weigh in day. I will weigh in at the vet clinic where I work because we have an amazing scale that we weight the new born foals with. It goes clear out to a hundredth of a pound. So it should be accurate enough for me....... :)
The carb cravings seem to have lessened. Actually the desire for food seems to have lessened. There is nothing on a low carb diet that I actually really like- so the act of eating will not be very pleasurable for awhile. I am eating a couple of tomatoes each day- which I really do love, but they are not technically very low carb. But what's a girl to do?
I have this interesting feeling that I might actually be on my way to sticking to this diet this time until the weight comes off. I know that people say the toughest part is keeping it off. But when you have this much to lose, that theory seems amazing. Losing it in the first place seems to be almost insurmountable and I feel that if I get it off that there is no possible way I would ever allow this lifestyle to take me back over.
I have done a couple of things to help inspire me in this journey (along with telling each and every one of my public facebook friends).....I have hung a couple of slinky wonderful dresses up in my room that I cannot help but look at when I am in there. I LOVE clothes....and cannot wait to get to wear fun stuff again.
I have also set some smaller goals time wise. Since I am going to Austin next month to teach a dog training seminar I have already given myself advance permission to drink margaritas and eat chips and guacamole while I am there. I could LIVE on chips on guac/salsa.......and the idea of sitting on a patio with good friends....and my dogs (many places in Austin allow dogs).....and wearing something fun is very appealing.
Then the following month I am judging a dog event in Norman, Oklahoma for a weekend. My Austin friends will be coming up and other dog friends that I do not get to see very often (or at least not often enough). So I will enjoy getting to wear something nice and be somewhat thinner. Oh yeah.....and I get to dress like a pirate that weekend.
I would like to be a thinner pirate.
I have an old friend who is currently in rehab. He has made it 30 days now. He is changing his life. What an inspiration. I realized that I have put him on my prayer list each week at church.....but never put myself on the list. So yesterday I added my own name and asked for prayers as I travel on this journey towards health and happiness. It felt empowering to ask for God's help. I was afraid that it would feel selfish, but it did not.

I ask God to allow me to have the power to lose this weight in a healthy manner. To be able to run agility dogs, ride my horses, play with my daughter, wear pretty clothes, feel good wen I look in the mirror, anticipate with happiness running into old friends, dance with my dogs, perform on a stage, grow old as a mom, grow old as a friend and look at life with renewed anticipation. I need His help- I know that I cannot do it alone.....

I think that this time it really is going to happen.

Laura....unknown weight today

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