Friday, July 16, 2010

Good news I guess

So the good news is that my math was terrible yesterday when I decided that I had 160 pounds to lose. That is actually my goal weight. So I have 125 pounds to lose. Still a tremendous amount....but better than the 160 that I had written earlier.
Today is the third day of the diet. I have been going thru pretty tough carbohydrate withdrawals today. But I am hanging in there. I posted to my facebook friends that I am officially on a diet and that I will check in every week with a new photo. I hope that this accountability will help keep me motivated and on track.
When I got off work this morning (I work an over night shift three days per week)I went home and fed horses, played with puppy and dogs and went to sleep for a while.
I know that I need to take care of myself better in order to complete this journey successfully. I told my daughter that she needed to let me sleep after I have been working all night.
Fridays are tough just because I work all night Thursday and then again on Friday. Usually I am not able to sleep during the day but now I am going to force myself to try. If I am sleeping I cannot be eating.
In each of my daily blogs I am going to talk about a personal issue that I feel has gotten into the way of my progress as a healthy person.
Today it is the loss of both of my parents, my younger brother and a very dear friend to cancer. They all smoked and I used to try and convince each and every one of them to stop. My friend tried and at times was successful for short periods of time. My family never tried. I miss them all and I hate the disease.
I used to be so angry that they would not quit even when they were dying because of it. But look at me. In the past 15 years I have gained over 100 pounds and I cannot seem to control my eating habits (up until three days ago)any more than they could quit. SO who am I to cast blame?
Writing this down helps. I find myself less angry even as I read the words that I knew but hate to say.Who knows? Maybe this process is what I have been searching for.
Today I take the really scary step of posting my weight each time I blog........

Laura....284 pounds today

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